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Archive for April, 2010

The Priest in a Small Irish Village

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010
The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has Click Here to See The Excitement!!

Look What They Found in the Gulf of Mexico

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010
This is from 8500' below the surface and over 2 1/2 feet long....... This isopod came up on the ROV from the sea floor (approx. 8500') while setting the X-tree from the West Sirius rig... The face could be straight from your friendly local SiFi Movie! Click Here to See The Excitement!!

Bites of Wisdom

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.' - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) <><> Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain <><> The Click Here to See The Excitement!!

Butt Drugs Commercial!!

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010
What can I say, let it speak for itself! Click Here to See The Excitement!!

WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010
Don't forget to mark your calendars. As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim males to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide. So next Saturday at 1 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling Click Here to See The Excitement!!

A Well-Planned Retirement

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010
From The London Times: A Well-Planned Retirement Outside England's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were 1 for cars (£1.40), 5 for buses (about £7.00).. Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he Click Here to See The Excitement!!

Glorious Insults

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. The  exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it" A  member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some Click Here to See The Excitement!!

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010
'OLD' IS WHEN... Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!' 'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot. 'OLD' IS WHEN... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. 'OLD' IS WHEN.... You don't care where your spouse goes, just Click Here to See The Excitement!!

Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010
Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) Make sure you put  000  on your speed dial before you begin... Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.. Use extra polygrip so your teeth Click Here to See The Excitement!!

The Original Remote Control

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010
This remote control seems to work. No batteries are required. Click Here to See The Excitement!!