Older Material on Main Site

Archive for May, 2010

« Older Entries

Ear Infection

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

This is an email classic. I may have posted it elsewhere on the site, but just in case . . .
This is so true!   They always ask at the doctor’s office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what’s wrong  and sometimes it is embarrassing.

There’s nothing worse than a Doctor’s Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.

I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’

‘There’s something wrong with my dick’, he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that. ‘

‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ he said.

The Receptionist replied; ‘Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.’

The man replied, ‘You shouldn’t ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’

‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice.. ‘And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?’

‘I can’t piss out of it,’ he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter…

Mess with seniors and you’re going to Lose

Possibly Some Funny Stuff

Automatically Generated

You take your chances

Tags:
Posted in eMail Comedy | Comments Off

Thinking Ahead This Memorial Day….

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

MEMORIAL DAY

memorial day cartoon


memorial day cartoon


memorial day cartoon


memorial day cartoon


memorial day cartoon


memorial day cartoon


memorial day cartoon


memorial day cartoon

“Stand for what is right, even if you stand alone!”


Possibly Some Funny Stuff

Automatically Generated

You take your chances

Tags:
Posted in eMail Galleries | 1 Comment »

Not PC…………

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

In a pub quiz the other day, We lost by one point.  The question was “Where do women mostly have curly hair?”

Apparently, it’s Africa !

——————————————————————————————————————————–

One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Coons and Labor Party members is not the correct answer!

——————————————————————————————————————————–

I’ve heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children’s iPod after realizing that “iTouch Kids” is not a good product name.

———————————————————————————————————————————

George Clooney is to star in a new film about Gary Glitter, called “Oh, She’s Eleven.”

———————————————————————————————————————————

My wife told me I was no longer romantic, so I booked a table for the two of us on Valentine’s Night.

Problem was she’s rubbish at snooker!

———————————————————————————————————————————-

There’s a new Muslim clothing shop opened in London , but I’ve been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets!

———————————————————————————————————————————-

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles, but at least they drive slowly past schools!

Possibly Some Funny Stuff

Automatically Generated

You take your chances

Tags:
Posted in eMail Comedy | Comments Off

Airport Security Suggestion

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

Airport Security Solution

Here’s the solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at the airports:

Have a booth that you can step into that will not x-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your body. It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this uproar about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long and expensive trial. Justice would be quick and swift.

This is so simple that it’s brilliant. I can see it now. You’re in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion.

Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system, “Attention standby passengers. We now have a seat available on flight number 4665 …. Paging maintenance. Shop Vac needed in booth number 4.”


Possibly Some Funny Stuff

Automatically Generated

You take your chances

Tags: ,
Posted in eMail Comedy | Comments Off

Hooters

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

If Big-Chested women work at HOOTERS

three lovlies

Where do “ONE-LEGGED” women work???

gif without the go

ihop sign

Head banger gif


Possibly Some Funny Stuff

Automatically Generated

You take your chances

Tags: ,
Posted in eMail Comedy | Comments Off

Black Woman with One White Boob and One Black Boob

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

Politically Incorrect and perhaps in poor taste, but I only post this stuff, I don’t originate it.

. . . unbelievable . . .
photo of a woman with different colored boobs..

VIPs


Possibly Some Funny Stuff

Automatically Generated

You take your chances

Tags: ,
Posted in Interesting Pics | 2 Comments »

Just Waiting

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010
The crowd waiting in anticipation of the Obama Statue.

Every picture tells a story.


Possibly Some Funny Stuff

Automatically Generated

You take your chances

    Tags:
    Posted in Interesting Pics | Comments Off

    Here are the 2009 Darwin Awards

    Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

    Eighth  Place

    In Detroit , a  41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after  squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his  car keys.

    Seventh  Place

    A 49-year-old San  Francisco stockbroker, who “totally zoned when he ran”, accidentally  jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.

    Sixth  Place

    While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole  for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at  the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of  sand. People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get  him out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy  equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a  hospital.

    Fifth Place

    Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed  as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was  burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight he had placed  in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed into the base of his skull as  he hit the floor.

    Fourth Place

    Sylvester Briddell,  Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not  put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the  trigger.

    Third Place

    After stepping around a marked  police patrol car parked at thefront door, a man  walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store.  The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was standing at  the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a  hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target pistol. The officer  and a clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew  their guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by  Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge  cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot  wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one  else was hurt.

    HONORABLE MENTION

    Paul Stiller, 47, and  his wife Bonnie were bored just  driving around at 2 A.M. so they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss  out the window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to  notice that the window was closed.

    RUNNER  UP

    Kerry Bingham had  been drinking with several friends when one of them said they knew a  person who had bungee-jumped from a local bridge in the middle of  traffic. The conversation grew more excited, and at least 10 men trooped  along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM. Upon arrival at the midpoint  of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a bungee rope.  Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a  coil of lineman’s cable lay near by. They secured one end around  Bingham’s leg and then tied the other to the bridge. His fall lasted 40  feet before the cable tightened and tore his foot off at the
    ankle.  He miraculously survived his fall into the icy water and was rescued by  two nearby fishermen. Bingham’s foot was never located.

    AND  THE WINNER IS….

    Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn ,   Germany ) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and  more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up  pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich,  46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when  the relieved beast unloaded. The sheer force of the elephant’s  unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he  struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued to evacuate 200  pounds of dung on top of him. It seems to be just one of those freak  accidents that proves… ‘Shit happens’

    IT ALWAYS SEEMS  IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE GENE  POOL.

    Possibly Some Funny Stuff

    Automatically Generated

    You take your chances

    Tags:
    Posted in eMail Comedy | Comments Off

    DAMN ECONOMY

    Saturday, May 22nd, 2010

    Damn economy. This poor child can’t even afford a pair of decent jeans. It always seems to be the young who suffers the most!

    girl in cut-offs

    Another Victim of the Economy…and I don’t suppose you noticed that the’poor little thing’ has no shoes!

    Possibly Some Funny Stuff

    Automatically Generated

    You take your chances

    Tags: ,
    Posted in eMail Comedy | Comments Off

    Giant Caterpillar found in College Dorm

    Friday, May 21st, 2010

    How do they think this stuff up?

    There are no words….
    Giant Caterpillar found in College Dorm ….

    many full moons

    Tell me you are not laughing and I will take you off my email list ‘cuz you’re probably dead!


    Possibly Some Funny Stuff

    Automatically Generated

    You take your chances

    Tags:
    Posted in Interesting Pics | Comments Off

    « Older Entries
    privace policy | terms of service | about us