New & Delightful Wal-Mart Photos w/ Captions!

Just when you think the photo’s can’t get any worse, they show up.

Well, it is summer now, which means that we all get to witness more gems like this one.

People of Walmart 1

Why do I have a feeling Jim Henson is behind her……working her arms?

People of Walmart 2

Ummm, I think you might need something more than the pine tree air-freshener.  It’s a start……not where I would have started…….but it’s a start.

People of Walmart 3

C’mon now, on a scale of 1 to 10, where do you think his level of ‘giving a f***’ is?  I am seriously jealous of this dude.

People of Walmart 4

The only thing this guy is missing is a bedazzled jean jacket to match his purdy pink sparkly bedazzled belt.

People of Walmart 5

Hey Hulk Hogan, guys with a full head of hair look stupid with a ponytail.  Wanna take a guess how good it looks without half your hair?

People of Walmart 6

Hookers love cupcakes.  I have nothing else to add to that.  Can’t argue with the facts.

People of Walmart 7

I don’t really know why Magic School Bus Lady is always at Wal-Mart, because I don’t think they have any of the clothes she wears, nor do I know where you can find any of the things she wears.

People of Walmart 8

Why do I feel like at any minute now, a big arm-bar is going to swing out with a STOP sign on it?

People of Walmart 9

Sasselfratz, hibidibut, yzidili, guvukafet…  Oh, don’t mind me.  I’m just trying to think of new words to describe this lady because I can’t seem to find any that already exist.

People of Walmart 10

Listen hunny, the “ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL” tag is lying to you, so I suggest we try things on before we buy.

People of Walmart 11

Your first move should be checking that backpack for a pair of underwear.  If there are none in there, well, you ARE at a store that sells underwear.  Problem solved.  I would move on to pants…but…I don’t want to get too far ahead…and lose you.

People of Walmart 12

OOOOWWW, she’s a BRICK (da-na-na-na) HOUSE.  She’s MIGHTY- MIGHTY, just LETTIN’ it ALL hang-out.

People of Walmart 13

Just ‘cuz you have the ‘all-natural’ sleeves thing goin’ on, doesn’t mean the rest of us are cool with you wearing your tank top.

People of Walmart 14

I wonder if she can ‘tie ‘em in a knot or tie ‘em in a bow’……because unfortunately, I already know they ‘wobble to an fro’.

People of Walmart 15

I cannot confirm if this is indeed THE Little Miss Muffet.  Mainly because I have no idea what a tuffet looks like.

People of Walmart 16

How does one manage to make it look like they’ve tucked their ass into their pants like a shirt?

People of Walmart 17

Oh, the humanity.  How did we get to this point as a species???

People of Walmart 18

At what point does a person just say “F*ck it, I don’t need to put on shoes or pants”?  Most people in the world would put pants on to walk into another room of the house, or if not that, then they would put some on if they’re going to the street to get their mail.  And you made it to Wal-Mart.

People of Walmart 19

I know what a muffin-top is, but I’ve never seen a muffin-back.  I think there needs to be a better word for it, so, I’m open to suggestions.

People of Walmart 20

OH COME ON!  Are you actually going to stand there and tell me you don’t even feel a breeze?

People of Walmart 21

Hey!  They don’t make ‘tube-bottoms’ for a reason.

People of Walmart 22

I’m sorry sir, but those Christmas hams put you over the 12 item limit for this line.

People of Walmart 23

ATTENTION WAL-MART SHOPPERS:  Warm weather is now here as we start the summer, and so is the unfortunate “Swamp Ass” epidemic.  Be aware – and try to stay dry.

People of Walmart 24

The irony here is overwhelming.  I’m just going to sit back and let you soak it in.

People of Walmart 25

OH DAMN, Santa is WORKIN’ it.

People of Walmart 26

HEY!  HEY!  HOLD STILL!!!  There’s a f***in’ jellyfish on your head!  HOLD STILL SO I CAN GET IT OFF!!!

People of Walmart 27

Before he died, did Elvis get a poodle pregnant?  I don’t know, I’m not here to judge…Okay, I am…but still…

People of Walmart 28

How the hell did the White Witch of Narnia come through the wardrobe?

People of Walmart 29

Yes!!!!!  Blue is definitely your color!

People of Walmart 30

I was not aware that barbers were still using the salad bowl as a styling instrument.

People of Walmart 31

WOW!  That’s so cool!  JanSport came out with a new flesh colored fanny-pack…wait…hold on…can it be…is it…OH MY DEAR GOD!

People of Walmart 32

I would like to officially nominate those pants for worst color option EVER!  Are you serious with that?  “Hey, let’s get skin-tight pants, make them in sizes where the words ’skin-tight’ should be off-limits, and then produce them in a flesh color.”  What a great idea!

People of Walmart 33

Ya really think ya gonna be needin those condoms there, big fella?

Editor’s Note: Here is the most recent installment in the People of Walmart viral email series. I begin to wonder if someone in the PoW office does not originate these things in a promotional effort. At any rate there is a lot more to see on their site. Please be sure to visit:


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